I Can't Believe I'm in Paris!

Currently: In bed, light switched on, curtains drawn. In St. Christopher’s Inn hostel, Paris. Oui, the City of Light!

Unlike the previous night, I got back before 3 AM this time! (Sort of a long story.)

My day in brief: Today I accidentally slept in a little long, so I didn't get to do as much as I'd hoped, but I still had a nice time. I mostly explored the "Latin" area. Notre Dame was beautiful – I took plenty of pictures. It was evening when I saw it, so unfortunately I couldn't go inside then. But I'll certainly be back. I had dinner right across the street from it – onion soup and hot chocolate.

Reasons I do not like the Metro (and I miss the Tube!):

1. It's too complicated to navigate!
2. I bought a week-long pass, but it only starts working next Monday. And I can't buy day-long passes; only tickets for each trip (and they cost the same whether you take a bus or the Metro).
3. Once, I got on a train going the wrong direction and got off at the next stop to change sides, only to find that at that station I had to exit and pay again to get on!
4. There are lots and lots of RATS!
5. The stations are very dirty and not very interesting to look at.
6. I haven't seen a single musician performing... but I DID see a couple homeless men that did a funny version of hip-hop dancing.

Plans: Louvre tomorrow? Also, I’ll try to call Chloe again (I got her voice mail last time). Maybe we can meet for dinner.

On the Verge of Traveling and Fighting This @#$?% Flu

I’ve come down with the flu, and though I felt completely disgusting yesterday, I went to Greenwich with Kate. It probably didn’t do me any good health-wise, but it was worth seeing, especially as I’d put off going for so long. When I got home, it became much worse (and I’ll spare you the icky details).

The weather has been particularly wild these past few days. I’d gotten the impression that spring was on its way judging on the sunshine that persisted for a while previously, but I think winter just had one last statement to make before it becomes spring properly. About an hour ago, the sky was bright blue; and now, judging by the storm howling and beating against my window, you’d never guess it to have been true.

I stayed up nearly until dawn again, watching some insane post-midnight television programs with Agneta while I took care of some my travel bookings. Usually, we’d be watching some movies or old TV shows through the connection to my laptop, but as I needed my laptop, we just let the TV run its course. I’ve discovered some new films that way in the past; more often than not, they’ve been quite different from the films I’m used to seeing on TV back home. Anyway, this time it seemed to get stranger as time went on. Examples: I’m A Cyborg, But That’s Okay (a Korean film about a mental hospital patient who believes she’s a cyborg and fantasizes about killing everyone, but is cared for by another patient who believes he can shrink); Hello Friend (about a killer computer part); and some stop-motion children’s show with magic poo that transforms into a triangle that teleports people and animals into another dimension. Sometimes we just watched sports (OMG, sports!) to escape from the madness for just a little while. I think Adult Swim will seem quite tame after this.

Anyway, during all this weird TV-watching, I finished booking my flight back to LA (round trip was HALF the price of a single ticket!) and my flight and accommodations in Paris. I still have to book for Barcelona. I don’t think I could have possibly done any more comparing. I’m trying to stick to a very strict budget, as well as I can.

For now, I’ve got plenty to do, but my first priority is to get rid of this flu. I have a bath waiting for me now, and it’s been getting cold. I’ve already had some meds, but I need some tea, too. And possibly soup.

Loath to Make Plans

I keep clicking on the calendar in the bottom-right corner of the screen… considering my tentative travel plans. One week in Paris, and another in Barcelona. Or maybe splitting the second week into Barcelona and some other place. Exciting, isn’t it? It is, but the one thing holding me back from making all my reservations is a lack of communication… Wouldn’t it be so much better if I could share the experience with friends? I have three friends in Paris who I would like to see. I’ve sent them notes through email and Facebook – days ago – but I haven’t received a reply. Janice and I have been talking for ages about going to Barcelona together. I’ve been trying to meet up with her to discuss it, and that’s been a problem; finally, I asked her if she’s even still interested – via email – and she told me that she’s got some plans coming up that conflict with the dates I need to travel on. I’d put it off to accommodate her plans… really, I would… but I’m spending a lot of money and wasting a lot of time as it is. My parents gave me a very nice sum of money at the start of this adventure, and most of it’s gone. London’s an expensive city, and the economy is pretty unforgiving, especially to someone who intends to stay only temporarily. But let’s not go into that. It’s too depressing a thought, and I’ve already been there, many times.

I’m still holding on to the notion of sharing my travels… So clicking the “Send/Receive” button on Outlook and refreshing Facebook is becoming a semi-obsessive habit. I’m anxious, and I’m beginning to get a little paranoid. Am I being ignored? Is there something wrong with me? Is something wrong with the website/my email/their computers/etc.? I’ve thought about a few people that I’ve lost contact with over time, and have begun to ask the same questions all over again. It’s unsettling. And if in fact there is something technical at fault, or my messages have simply gone unnoticed, what if it all comes together after it’s too late? I *hate* making decisions like these…

I’ve also got to book my return flight to LA. And even in that case I’m having doubts. Just one little click decides how much time I’ve got before I close another chapter in my life. As much as I love my family and friends back home, I am truly reluctant to return. I felt so stuck there. Especially after graduation. Sitting in my bedroom, I was in the one place where my world felt unchangeable, in a very negative way. It’s a place for clinging to childhood and feeling guilty for not suddenly transforming into a productive adult. And god, in that place, I really hate that phrase.

And so, my browser remains on a dozen or so travel websites, reservations just a click away… and it’s been that way for two or three days, exactly the same. I’m considering clicking a fairly distant date – a week or two after my supposed return from the continent. Agneta assures me that she’ll have a flat by then, and I can stay with her. I just don’t know how many days will be an excess, especially on my finances. And by the way, just why have round-trip flights come up on these websites at incredibly low prices than the single trip ones? I mean, really… it’s ridiculous! I may have to buy a round-trip ticket and then feel a bit guilty for burning the second trip.

Oh, and also: I haven’t done ANY packing, nor any shipping yet! I’m sure I’ll be rushing it all at the very last minute.

TOMORROW’S PLAN: Greenwich Observatory, with Kate (11:30 AM). One of a few places I’ve long intended to visit.